Revenge of the Elves (demo version)

by Kat Robichaud

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Demo version of "Revenge of the Elves"
Written by Kat Robichaud for A Very Merry Misfit Cabaret
Arranged and mixed by Brendan Getzell
For tickets to Misfit Cabaret, visit krmisfitcabaret.com

lyrics

Late night in Santa’s workshop
Countdown to Christmas Eve
About to go home, rest our little elf bones
Desperate for a short reprieve
When the jolly fat man cast his shadow in the door
And in a drunken voice he said you have no choice
You elves are gonna sweat some more
These toys won’t make themselves
There’s no one else with hands as small as yours
So ho ho ho, you better go go go
Or I’ll be giving you what for
And that’s when we said we can’t take this anymore

Santa, we don’t work for you no more
Make your own Sally Dolls
You can deck our balls
As we’re walking out the door
Santa, you can’t put us on the shelf
So take your Christmas tree
Shove it up your chimney
You can do the job yourself
You can’t fire us, we quit
So put that in your pipe and smoke it

It was so quiet you could hear a gum drop
As Santa balled his fist
Then he turned with a jerk
And said get back to work
Or I’ll put you on the naughty list
And we laughed at the audacity
Because there’s no way he couldn’t see
The situational irony
The position that he found himself in
Who do you think writes that list?
Without us little elves
Your precious Christmas don’t exist

Santa, we don’t work for you no more
Make your own Sally Dolls
You can deck our balls
As we’re walking out the door
Santa, you can’t put us on the shelf
So take your Christmas tree
Shove it up your chimney
You can do the job yourself
You can’t fire us, we quit
So put that in your pipe and smoke it

And then the brandy snapped
As we stole Santa’s sack
And chucked it in the fireplace
Wow, you should have seen his face
All the toys went up in flames
Along with the list of names
Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
We almost felt sorry for the guy
Such a pitiful sight

Then we hauled ass to the stables
And we sniffed out Santa’s keys
Shook the reindeer awake
Said it’s time to escape
So we can finally be free
We exploded through the barn doors
And as the sleigh took flight
Out of sheer spite
Shrieked Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a jolly good night

Santa, we don’t work for you no more
Make your own Sally Dolls
You can deck our balls
As we’re walking out the door
Santa, you can’t put us on the shelf
So take your Christmas tree
Shove it up your chimney
You can do the job yourself
You can’t fire us, we quit
So put that in your pipe and smoke it

credits

released December 2, 2022
Kat Robichaud- vocals and guitar
Brendan Getzell- all other instruments

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about

Kat Robichaud San Francisco, California

Kat Robichaud writes songs about famous fictional characters, serial killers, and emotional hangups. She resides in Oakland, California where she writes, co-produces, and stars in Kat Robichaud's Misfit Cabaret, a musical variety show featuring live music, drag, burlesque, and puppets. If you would like her to release more music, become a Patreon member at patreon.com/katrobichaud. ... more

katrobichaud.com

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